Stefanie 2012

"You can't tell everyone all of the stupid things I say.  What if I run for president some day?  I can't have these things out there"

Headache

"Don't swear at me.  It makes my head hurt"

Marion Barber Signed By The Chicago Bears

Me: "Did you hear?  Marion Barber is now a bear."

Stefanie: "A grizzly bear?"

Golf

When letting me know that she would be playing golf with a work friend:

"I am going to need to borrow your sticks.....We are going to play some par 6"

Pirates vs Cubs

" 'Fuck-you-a-dome-ee'?  How the hell do you say that???"

English Language According To Stef

BOOK OF WORDS: noun. Acceptable alternative for just stating dictionary

Example of use: Stefanie--"I need, like, a book of words"

English Language According To Stef

WACKADOO: noun.  "Someone who has, like, lost their mind"

You Know They're From Texas If....

Upon trying to figure out if the person in front of us with a car blanketed with Dallas Cowboys apparel was from Texas:

"Oh a blonde with a cigarette. Yeah, that looks Texas"

On Synonyms For Fast

"Let's do it mondo...Mondo?...Yeah I think it means fast....in some language"

Dreams

"I had a dream last night that we were bike riding and I got a charlie horse…….no, I really got a Charlie horse.  I think I was pedaling in my sleep"

Mad

"

Getting upset at me for something I said:

"You’re making my leg twitch.  I want to punch you.  Shut up"

Chair In A Magazine

"There's nowhere to put my arms."

Pennsylvania Road Construction

On shifting lanes in a construction zone:

Stefanie: "I'm not liking this"

Me: "I don't think they were seeking your approval"

Stefanie:  "They should.  I'm a customer"

On Hispanic Names

AS WE WERE EATING OUT AT A MEXICAN RESTAURANT:

Stefanie: "I miss Olga"

Me: "Who?"

Stefanie:"The Mexican woman who used to bring homemade Mexican food to the office"

Me: "Olga????  That sounds like an Eastern European name"

Stefanie:"Well, she had a lot of siblings and I guess you can't call them ALL Juan"

Watching The Movie "Signs" Before Bed

Stefanie: "Are you going to be leaving me any time soon?"

Matt: "What do you mean?"

Stefanie: "Well....Because that movie is going to be freaking me out for a while, so I'm going to need you here".

On Trying To Fall Asleep After Watching Law And Order SVU

"It scared me.  I didn't even take my pants off for bed"

Christian Bale vs Scott Baio vs Tony Daza

WHILE WATCHING BATMAN BEGINS WITH STEFANIE:

S: "Isn't that Scott Baio"

M: "NO, that's CHRISTIAN BALE"

S: "Oh then I don't know who Scott Baio is."

M: "Haven't you ever seen Charles In Charge?  He was in that."

S: "Yeah..........I thought that was Tony Danza"

Ryan Malone's Mustache

"Anyone with a mustache like that has an emotional problem"

Playing Online Scrabble With Wade

"I can spell SEX.....Oooooo I can spell SEXY for triple score.....I hope he doesn't take this the wrong way."

On Packing The Prius for Move to Pittsburgh

"Do you think there is too much weight on one side of the car vs the other?  Like do you think we need to worry about the Prius tipping over?

Decorating the Kitchen of the New Townhouse

"How about a blown up picture of my favorite sushi roll on the dining room wall?.....Why?  Because it is Asian. We are trying to come to an Asian compromise here"

Hall and Oates

While at a blues club on Beale Street, the band was playing Proud Mary...Here was Stef's reaction:

"Isn't this Hall and Oates?"....(found out she was wrong and that it is CCR)...."well hall, and oats and a revival they all take place outside so that is probably how I got that wrong".....later we discovered she thought Hall and Oates was named after the inanimate objects and didn't know it was actually their names.