Stef vs. Geography

Exert from actual conversation between Stef and US Military Serviceman on a plane:

SERVICEMAN: "I'm on my way to Paris."
STEF: "Paris, London?"
SERVICEMAN: "Yes"

Stef On Religion

Upon seeing an Arabic man on the side of the highway next to his car and dressed in a thobe:

"I think that guy was wearing a tan snuggie.....either that or he was a Muslim"

Vehicle Molestation

"I think your car molested me"

Stef vs. Geography

2014 Winter Olympics Conversation: The current skier's country's initials are listed as AUS

Stef: "AUSTRALIA?!?!?!  Do they even get snow there?"

Me: "No, they're from Austria."

Stef: "Austria?????.........Is that by Antarctica or something?"

Stef Learns About The Male Anatomy

"You mean you don't have to hold it when you sit down to go to the bathroom???"

"It lays down?  I thought it points up."

Health According To Stef

When miscellaneously slapping Stef's ass:

Stef: "Quit beating me or you'll give me that disease you get when you get hit to death".

Me: "You mean death...?"

Stef vs. The English Language

Stef: “How do you even say ‘rural’?”

Me: “ “Roo-rall” “

Stef: “ “Rowl-rall” “

Me: “No, “roo-rall” “

Stef: “ “Rowl-rall” “

This continues for a few minutes…Stef now has found a website that will have a man’s voice pronounce the word properly for her to hear

Website: “ “Roo-rall” “

Stef: “ “Roar-all” “

Website: “ “Roo-rall” “

Stef: “ “Rooooar-all” “

Website: “ “Roo-rall” “

Stef: “ “Roo-raaaall”

Continue for a few minutes followed by her moving on to trying practice sentences using the word rural.

Me: laughing

Stef: “SHUT UP.  At least I work on my imperfections.”

Morning After Wolf Of Wall Street

"Whenever you woke me up I was dreaming about hookers' butts"